Don’t be a Nitpicker: We Gain Less and Lose More by Criticizing Others/Situations
People who criticize others are unaware of how much pain they themselves are experiencing. Truly happy people don’t have the need to bring others down. Tina Cox
Are You a Nitpicker?
A large number of people often find faults in, and criticize, other persons and their behavior. They are also over critical of life’s situations. They think that only their way of thinking and behavior is the right way. To them, their perception of reality is the ‘only reality.’ Such people not only criticize others, but they also want others to think and behave like them. If other persons think and behave contrary to their views and expectations, it makes them very uncomfortable. If they are in a position of power, like a parent or a boss, they try to exert their influence to change other persons’ thinking and behavior. However, if they don’t have power over others to change their thinking and behavior then they often engage in criticizing others’ thinking and behavior, at times in open and at times in front of closed ones.
By frequently criticizing others and situations, people get some kind of happiness, which is often short-lived. Nitpickers are generally not able to see the long-term cost of overly criticizing others. Too much criticism of other persons and situations generates only negativity. As overly critical people tend to focus more on negative aspects of other persons’ thinking and behavior, they hold themselves back from looking at the positive aspects of others’ behavior and life’s conditions.
What about you? Are you sure that you are not unnecessarily criticizing others and life’s situations? People are hardly aware of when they get into the vicious cycle of criticizing others. Hence, I think it is important for you to understand the cost of criticizing others, and to know that you are not unnecessarily criticizing others. Also, it is important for you to know how to overcome negativity and develop a positive mindset.
Negative Outcomes of Criticizing Others/Situations
If you often find faults in other persons and frequently complain about them, a lot of negativity may develop within you. That negativity may not only impact your personal health and well-being, but it can also have a negative impact on your studies, career, business and relationships. There are a lot of people who, despite being highly knowledgeable and hard-working, are not very successful in their life because of high negativity within them.
By overly criticizing others and situations, you not only generate negativity but may also distance yourself from people who are close to you. Your thoughts have huge impact on your body. If there are a lot of negative thoughts in your mind, your body will automatically (and most of the time you are not even aware of that) emit negativity. This negativity gets leak in your interactions with others, no matter how hard you try to hide it. Your body will emit negative vibes.
You are hardly likely to get things that you often criticize. You are hardly likely to have healthy relationship with people whom you often criticize. Criticism can keep you away from people or things that you value in your life but at the same time you keep on criticizing. People who keep criticizing others think that they are bringing reality in front of others. However, the reality is that they are looking at just one aspect of the situation or person. Ultimately, they suffer because of their myopic view.
You Do Have a Choice: So, Chose Positivity over Negativity
I believe that life is all about choices. Whoever you are and wherever you are currently in your life, it is primarily because of the choices that you have made so far. How to see people or situations, you do have a choice. You can either choose to criticize people, situations, functioning, practices and policies, lack of resources and facilities etc. or you can choose to see people around you or life’s situations positively.
If you look all around you and see highly successful persons from various fields, such as sports, business, movies, academics etc., you will realize that these highly successful people have chosen positivity over negativity. You will realize that at various points almost all individuals face a lot of challenges in their life. But some people are able to overcome those challenges and become successful, whereas a majority keep on complaining about others and circumstances of their life. If you look at the life story of some highly successful persons, like Nikhil Kamath, Nawazuddin Siddiqui, Sachin Tendulkar, Deepinder Goyal, Shahrukh Khan, Virat Kohli, Vijay Shekhar Sharma and Ritesh Agarwal, you will realize that all of these persons, and many more like them, look at the positive aspects of any situation or problem they face. They are not the kind of persons who look at things and start complaining and criticizing about other persons or situations.
So, I believe that you do have a choice. Do you want to focus on negativity and criticize others or do you want to develop a positive attitude? Choice is yours. Positivity can bring a lot of benefits for you and others, whereas you are likely to lose a lot by letting negativity dominate your thinking and behavior.
How to Develop a Positive Mindset?
We don’t live in an ideal world where everything is perfect. No person is perfect, no place is perfect. We live in an imperfect world. No matter where you live or work, there always will be many things that you may not like fully. There always will be certain persons or situations that can irritate or frustrate you. Then does it mean that you should keep cribbing about the situation or persons or should you try to look at things more positively. I believe that you should go for the second option.
Below I suggest certain actions that can help you in overcoming negativity and developing a positive mindset:
- Think deeply, does criticizing others really help you: Does criticizing others or complaining about life’s circumstances help in making things better for you? Does it solve your problems? The more you criticize others or complain about life, more negativity creeps in. It is the nature of our thoughts that the kind of thoughts you will have more thoughts of similar kind will follow. If you think negatively, a lot of more negative thoughts will follow. Try to understand the cost of negative thoughts and negativity.
- Accept your life’s situation the way it is:To overcome negativity and develop a positive mindset, first you need to learn to accept your life’s situation the way it is. It does not mean that you should not try to change the circumstances of your life. If you are facing very difficult situations, your working environment is not supportive, you are not provided with opportunities that you deserve, your efforts are not being appreciated etc., chances are high that you can develop negative views. Please remember that whatever happens in our life, happens for a reason. When you accept your life the way it is then you can be at more peace with yourself. Try to maintain calm and positivity, no matter what difficulties you are facing.
- Find the balance between accepting life and taking actions to change it: There is a fine line between being at peace with life and working towards making your life better each day. Most of the time people keep criticizing others and complaining about life. It doesn’t help anyone. Try to understand this reality. While being at peace with the circumstances of your life (no matter how difficult they are), you should keep working to make things better for yourself and others.
- Try to look at positive aspects of any situation or person:It is a lot easier said than done. But it is the only way to be peaceful, happy, and to succeed. If you want to maximize your potential, develop yourself further and strengthen your relationships, it is very important that you remove negativity and develop a positive mindset. If you will think negatively, negative things will follow you. If you will think positively, good things will happen. So, choose wisely.
